Divorced women may lose more than their partner; they can also lose their identity.

The identity of "wife" is assumed to be more valuable than the identity of "ex-wife."

You don't need to accept that being divorced is "less than" being married.

When you were a married woman, you may have felt safe and secure and things in your life were predictable. The loss of your husband is so much more than just the end of a relationship. It may feel like it strips you of meaning, and many women feel lost. Who am I now?

Sabrina, a woman in one of my groups, remarked: “I keep saying ‘we.’ We saw that movie. We love that restaurant. We had a great vacation in Punta Cana.” She said she’s struggling with the language and language matters. It would sound weird to say: “I had a great vacation in Punta Cana.” It sounds like she went by herself.

Her operating system is still running on “wife.” She went on to say, “While I don’t consider myself a wife anymore, much of my identity and behavior is woven into being that person.” After 27 years of marriage, she doesn’t know who she is without it.

She said she chokes on saying, “my ex.”........

© Psychology Today