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Relationship Stigma: "Maybe Don’t Bring Your 'Friend'"

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20.10.2024

Decades of research on minority stress (Brooks, 1981) have documented its adverse effects. Experiences of stigma contribute to a range of mental and physical health disparities among sexual and gender minority people (Flentje et al., 2020; Hoy-Ellis, 2023). Most of this research has focused on stigma directed at individuals. Scholarship in the past 15 years has begun to call attention to unique forms of stigma directed at the primary, sexual, and romantic relationships of LGBTQ people. To understand how these differ from stigma directed at individuals, it may be helpful to take a moment to define them.

Relationship discrimination (Neilands et al., 2020) refers to experiences of enacted stigma (things that have happened) that are directed at a couple together, rather than at the individual people in the relationship. For example, a restaurant might refuse to seat a same-gender couple when they would unremarkably serve either of the individual partners if they came separately. Alternatively, a parent might express support for their LGBTQ child but be unwilling to invite their child’s relationship partner to join them at family gatherings.

Relationship marginalization (Lehmiller, 2012; Neilands et al., 2020) is less about what has happened and more about what someone fears or believes might happen. It refers to the belief, perception, or concern that friends, family, or society generally do not accept, would not support, or otherwise have a negative view of one’s relationship or one’s partner. For example, someone may worry that they will be treated poorly at a restaurant if they go on a date with their partner—even if nothing has happened yet. Alternatively, someone might still be nervous about what could happen if they bring their partner to a family or work function (even if an invitation has been extended).

Social network integration is generally a positive sign for couples (Felmlee, 2001; Sprecher & Felmlee, 2000). That is a fancy way of saying that introducing a relationship partner to friends and family is generally associated with better relationship quality. For heterosexual couples,........

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