Perhaps one of the hardest decisions you’ll have to make is deciding to separate from your spouse. The second hardest decision you’ll make concerns when and how to tell your child(ren). Divorce is complex. How would you feel if I told you that the post-divorce relationship between you and your co-parent matters significantly more than how you decide to talk to them about the relationship ending? Most parents worry about saying the wrong thing when explaining divorce to their children. They’re torn between protecting their child and being honest—between minimizing pain and respecting their child’s intelligence. The mistake isn’t what parents say. It’s why they say it.

Most parents will have concerns about how their children may react to the news. Stress, confusion, and maybe even anger are expected (and completely normal) reactions from children. From the child’s perspective, the family unit they have come to know is changing, and the emotions related to that change may not diminish for a while (Kelly, 2009; Lee and Bax, 2000). Divorce can also prompt children to feel the need to manage the........

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