Taking responsibility requires realistic assessment of ourselves, others, and situations.

Self-compassion sustains curiosity, whereas shame and self-criticism shut it down.

Developing self-compassion is supported by trusting, caring relationships with others.

Self-compassion is advantageous to overall well-being and recovery from mental illness, but many people are still skeptical and fear that it leads to irresponsibility or self-indulgence. So,

Is it possible to practice self-compassion and take realistic accountability for our choices and behaviors?

If you implicitly associate personal accountability with shame, then it’s a natural question. The difference between shame and guilt is important. Guilt is the painful feeling that comes with recognizing that you have done something “wrong,” something regrettable, hurtful to others, against your values, etc. Assuming that you did in fact do something that hurt yourself or someone else or that runs counter to your values, guilt is an uncomfortable but perfectly natural and appropriate emotional response. Shame is the deeper and often problematic belief that because you did something “wrong,” you are “bad.” Naturally, shame and self-compassion do not go together, so if shame is your typical response to accountability, then........

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