Maybe you are one of those people who sets resolutions this week. Good for you starting the year with good habits and goals! We applaud your effort but want you to think about things a little differently this year by choosing resolutions that will make you happier.

We realize this sounds obvious but you would be surprised at how often people set goals that make them unhappy. It’s such a frequent occurrence that researchers refer to it as increasing ill-being. Why? We think that it is the same reason you can’t stop eating that raw cookie dough. People just want things that are not good for them.

In hopes of helping you pick resolutions that make you happy, we want to highlight what works and what doesn’t.

No: Extrinsic goals

Extrinsic goals are things like wealth, status, and fame. These generally depend on recognition or validation from others and do not directly satisfy our psychological needs (even though we often think that they will). Extrinsic goals seem valuable, but their value is really based on what they give access to, not the goals themselves.

The pursuit of extrinsic resolutions tends to crowd out more fulfilling pursuits, meaning a person can end up feeling frustrated and unfulfilled even when they succeed in their pursuits. What’s worse, when we succeed in our extrinsic pursuits, we quickly adapt to our new circumstances, and that leads to the escalation of expectations. Social comparison, the tendency to evaluate our success relative to others, usually makes this........

© Psychology Today