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Extended retaliation after an affair may be unproductive, even harmful.

Reparative behaviors give the relationship a chance to heal.

Many couples stay together after an affair.

The Pew Research Center reported that 90 percent of Americans consider an extramarital affair to be morally wrong (Evans & Corichi, 2026). Yet, according to data from the U.S. General Social Survey (GSS), 16 percent of married people surveyed had at least one affair (Davern et al., 2022). The Institute for Family Studies found that 75 percent of the men in their study had a larger number of sexual and sexual/emotional-combined affairs, while 56 percent of the women respondents had emotional-only affairs (Dew, 2024).

Despite the painful and often traumatic side effects of an affair, a recent study found that 75.5 percent of those who had been unfaithful ended their affairs and reconciled; 79 percent of those cheated on remained with the partner who had been unfaithful (Nickerson et al., 2026). These couples preferred to salvage their relationships to preserve the integrity of their families, please parents and grandparents, or spare children the stress of divorce. Some also stayed for cultural and religious reasons, or because they were in love. Many faithful partners who choose to stay do so for reparative reasons—that is, to give the relationship a chance to survive and thrive. A reparative commitment is evident both in and out of treatment by a sincere desire........

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