What Is Psychopharmacology?

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Finding the right psychiatric medication is rarely linear and requires more patience than most people expect.

Medications can work well for months or years before suddenly stopping, forcing you to start the process over.

The word "yet" reframes "nothing is working" from a conclusion into a sentence that is still in progress.

Persistence in finding the right medication is one of the hardest things a person can ask of themselves.

I took a new ADHD medication this morning. Within an hour, I had a pounding headache, heavy eyes, and thoughts that felt like they were running at half speed. I am currently writing this from the couch, which is where I have been all day. I’m drained in a way that not even a nap could fix (although I tried). This medication is supposed to help me focus, be more productive, and get more energy. Clearly that’s not what’s happening.

But this is not my first rodeo.

I’ve been managing meds for various mental health diagnoses since I was in high school. I've been through four anxiety disorders and years of trial and error and error and error. I’ve had more conversations with psychiatrists than I can count. So I know how this goes. The meds help, or they don’t, or they do until they don’t. You change the dose, the type of medication, and start over. And every single time, you swallow the pill with a stubborn hope that this one will work.

A few years after I was diagnosed with OCD and Panic Disorder, I started on a low dose of anti-anxiety........

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