The "it's not X, it's Y" formula rules self-help, faking insight by flattening reality into a binary.

Most of life is yes/and: willpower AND systems, talent AND practice, held in tension rather than resolved.

The binary flip trains readers to expect a winner, eroding the capacity to hold two truths at once.

AI learned the tic from our self-help prose. Changing how machines write starts with changing how we write.

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” —Simon Sinek

“Connection is not about how much time we spend together. It’s about how much joy and meaning we create together.” —Adam Grant

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” —James Clear

“Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” —Brené Brown

This rhetorical move has taken over the bestselling tier of self-help writing, and it’s driving me bonkers. The formula is everywhere—in a TED talk, a book subtitle, the close of a paragraph. Often it’s the entire structure of an argument: an old idea named, a new idea installed, the door shut behind it. The writer looks like someone who has Figured Things Out. The reader gets a clean takeaway. The book sells.

I think it’s cheap rhetoric, and we should stop respecting it.

It’s not cheap because the underlying claims are always wrong. Sometimes they’re partly right. Practice........

© Psychology Today