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Therapists can help clients access their inner wisdom rather than acting as the expert.

Focusing on clients' internal experiences enables deeper self-understanding and meaningful change.

The real divide in therapy is between being told how to change and discovering change through self-awareness.

For many years, I operated under the assumption that, as a therapist, I was supposed to be the expert in the room. I thought my role was to lead the charge, offer insightful observations, and provide suggestions about how clients should approach their lives and relationships.

But around COVID, I discovered therapeutic approaches that challenged that assumption. In Hakomi and Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed therapy, there is an emphasis on helping clients access their own inner wisdom rather than relying solely on the therapist’s interpretations and advice.

My role began to feel more like that of a midwife, helping clients bring forth and integrate what is already within them. The idea is to create the conditions in which qualities such as calm, clarity, compassion, and self-understanding can become more accessible. This means allowing clients to lead the way, sometimes described as “riding the tail of the comet.”

Ironically, this is much harder than it sounds. It requires me to let go of my interpretations, advice, and even my well-intentioned agendas. Instead, I am learning to lean into the ambiguity that comes with each........

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