So, you met someone. Not just anyone, but the person you’ve been longing for. The connection between the two of you is pure magic. Deep connection, uncanny chemistry, organic intimacy. Fireworks, exploding to the 1812 Overture. They are exactly your type and you, theirs. They are sweet, thoughtful, sensitive, smart, and sexy as all get out. The neurotransmitters in your brain are bursting, flooded with oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. You’re on “cloud 9.”

It’s almost too good to be true.

Yes, exactly. Too good to be true.

While the person of your dreams indeed has all the endearing attributes you’ve romanticized in your heart and head, there’s also an unseemly side of this ideal mate. Drug addiction. They were sober for two years but experienced a series of recent relapses. Oh, and they’re in a promiscuous one-sided open relationship with a live-in partner.

Too good to be true? Yes, exactly.

If only there weren’t the addiction to drugs and the sex…

If only.

But those two caveats exist and co-exist with the euphoria. You can’t ignore the hard-to-swallow truth or wish it away. And so, there’s a discrepancy between who your new love is and who you want them to be. If only they didn’t have these two major league liabilities, they would be exactly the partner you want. But because of these frantically waving red flags, your idyllic new love is not who you want them to be. The joy you have longed for was finally within grasp—only to slip away into the abyss. And you can’t........

© Psychology Today