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Real systemic change requires cultural accountability.

Co-authored with Krista Smith, MSW, MAT

When I was just starting out in the workplace, I had a boss who liked to linger a little too long. He would comment on my appearance, thread compliments and veiled flirtation into ordinary conversation, and stand just a little too close for comfort.

The first few times it happened, I laughed it off. That is what I had been taught to do: Don’t be dramatic. Do not create unnecessary tension. Certainly don’t make things awkward with your boss.

So I smiled and tried to make nothing of it. But I knew what I felt: uncomfortable, disrespected, and annoyed. Even then, I understood that this behavior was not really about friendliness or flirtation. It was about power and entitlement. And I felt, as so many women have felt, that I was expected to accommodate it rather than risk being seen as difficult, humorless, or the one creating trouble.

Like many women, I learned early that part of moving through the world meant managing men’s behavior without naming it too directly. We were taught to defuse rather than confront. To absorb discomfort so others could remain comfortable. To laugh off what did not feel funny. That reflex was not instinctive. It was trained into many of us.

Women........

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