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A wide variety of interactions can be labeled "high maintenance"; the label doesn't have a single set meaning.

When dealing with someone high maintenance, we need to identify which tendencies require undue attention.

Improving high maintenance interactions requires self-awareness, clear boundaries, and recognizing benefits.

Well into middle-age, I was surprised to find out that I was considered “high maintenance.” I don't see myself as needy or dramatic or critical or demanding of attention, so I asked my friends what they thought of the assessment.

None of them were surprised. And then they pointed out my devoted conscientiousness (and pickiness) about clothing, comfort, and my daily schedule.

After an initial self-assessment, I realized the truth of this observation. I pack heavy for trips, wanting distinctive, fashionable clothing that easily accommodates uncertain weather. I want the perfect table at restaurant and the best seats at a show, or else my enjoyment will be compromised. I spend time arranging medical appointments, professional meetings, and even friendly gatherings so they fit comfortably into my personal schedule. We all need more maintenance as we age, but these behaviors go well beyond that.

What It Means to Be "High Maintenance"

“High maintenance” is a general description for individuals who demand considerable attention, effort, or emotional resources.

But the concept of high maintenance is complex, arising from different sources and appearing in different forms. It can be a combination of a few tendencies and behaviors, or just one, in abundance. The main complexity is that the concept of high maintenance is multifaceted.

12 Ways of Being High Maintenance

Persistent self-absorption, with great interest in sharing problems and little interest in hearing about the difficulties of others

Perfectionism, with excessive attention to detail—and frustration when perfection is not attained, with oneself or others

Requiring frequent reassurance, approval, compliments, and recognition, heavily relying on others for........

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