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There are multiple versions of the “Golden Rule.”

Loving/kindness can help with people we dislike.

Loving/kindness helps improve the well-being of the people employing these thoughts.

When I talk with my adolescent patients’ subconscious about existential questions, they often volunteer that love is a force that connects all living beings. They stress the importance of being kind and receiving kindness, and some make clear that this is the single most critical message they have to share.

We can find references to the same concept throughout human history and literature, from the tenets of every major world religion to multiple versions of the “Golden Rule.”

In Judaism, Rabbi Hillel said, “Don’t do unto others what you do not want done unto you" (Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbat 31a).

In Hinduism (Mahabharata 5:1517): "This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you."

In Confucianism (Analects 15:24): "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not want."

In Christianity (Matthew 7:12), Jesus said, “Do unto others what you want done for you.”

In Islam (Hadith 13 from the 40 Hadith of Iman an-Nawawi): "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."

For some of my patients who are very hard on themselves and who focus mostly on pleasing their friends, I modify the rule: “Treat yourself as you treat others.” This modification helps them start to realize that to best help others, they need to treat themselves with love and kindness. Such self-love empowers them to be even more helpful in the world.

I have taught my patients that loving-kindness can work counterintuitively, even with people they dislike, such as a classmate, teacher, family member, or employer. The use of loving thoughts—such as wishing that the person they dislike be happy, healthy, calm, and at ease—is often associated with an improvement in........

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