What Is Rejection Sensitivity?

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Without acceptance and rejection—the conscious ability to choose—humanity would not have survived.

Relationships are generally voluntary, and positive relationships cannot be externally coerced or imposed.

Interpreting another’s agency as a personal attack can be a cognitive distortion.

Relationships are voluntary. Acceptance or rejection are self-chosen personal processes that generate affect states such as liking or disliking, trust or distrust, sincerity or insincerity, and the potential for voluntary relational engagement or disengagement. None of these can be externally coerced. This is not a limitation of individuals or societies but a universal feature of human consciousness and the structure of all relationships (Baumeister & Leary, 1995; Deci & Ryan, 2000; Heinämaa, 2020; Korsgaard, 1989; Pietromonaco & Barrett, 1997).

This universality begins before consciousness emerges. Human beings are born with biological, neurobiological, and neuromuscular systems that develop to discriminate among survival-relevant stimuli. Newborns show unlearned reactions to sweetness and bitterness (visible in facial expressions and physiological changes), demonstrating sensory evaluation at birth.

Early sensory judgements are biologically established and active from the first moments of life. These innate responses are part of holistic, biologically developing systems that guide early orientation towards comfort, safety, and caregiving, long before consciousness and complex cognitive learning are established (Blass & Watt, 1999; Bowlby, 1982; Rosenstein & Oster, 1988).

Ongoing biological, neurobiological, and holistic neuromuscular development, together with associated consciousness and cognitive development, is fundamental to meeting holistic biological, neurobiological, and neuromuscular requirements. This includes, but is not limited to, spatial awareness, social awareness, and physical sensory responses to environmental stimuli.

These holistic biological developments present both conscious and subconscious judgment potentials that mature to the point where personal, social, and environmental circumstances can be processed automatically, enabling coherent, safe, and successful navigation of personal and social environments. Without these biological, neurobiological, neuromuscular, and consciousness-related automatic judgements, people could not avoid or detect danger (Bargh & Chartrand, 1999; Hasher & Zacks, 1984).

The Normal Distribution Curve

The same biological and conscious reality applies to social perceptions. For example, as we enter a large conference auditorium, our mind instantly makes countless small judgments outside our awareness while we also consciously look for a seat. The others in the auditorium are undergoing a similar process. Now that we have entered the auditorium, a few people (who may be looking at us) might have an immediate positive response. What has now taken place, without our knowledge or awareness, is that acceptance has occurred.

At the same time, a few others (who may also look at us) may have an immediate negative response. Again, without our knowledge or awareness,........

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