Internal self-perception often clashes with reality, until it's mirrored back by another.

Reflecting a client's own words back to them as a therapist can be more powerful than offering advice.

True change often starts when an individual confronts uncomfortable truths about themselves with a therapist.

We all have a mirror—a bathroom mirror, a full-length mirror in the bedroom—a place we go to see how we look. We might feel good; we might be wearing clothes we feel comfortable in; we might have just gotten a haircut we like. Even though we intuitively know what we look like, we still look in the mirror to check ourselves out.

Quite often, we don’t like what we see in the mirror. It doesn’t match up with how we see ourselves internally. We look at ourselves from unflattering angles. Do we have a weird cowlick or a booger in our nose? We turn and see how our gut looks in profile. How many chins can we count? Where did that zit come from? Looking in the mirror creates a clash between our internal reality and external reality.

What would it be like if mirrors were never invented? How would we know how to think about how we look? I think we’d just have to go with how we feel inside. And that might be pretty good. We might walk around feeling like we’re hot stuff,........

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