As a couple’s therapist, I am asked by many couples how they can have great, passionate sex. One of my first encounters regarding powerful sex was reading the book Passionate Marriage by sex and relationship therapist David Schnarch. He used the phrase wall-socket sex to represent the highest form of sexual connection, one that arises not from emotional fusion or validation-seeking but from two differentiated, self-validated individuals who can remain fully present, emotionally exposed, and erotically alive in each other’s presence.

Each partner brings their whole self into the encounter. In other words, the heated sexual intensity requires both partners to bring their authentic self and, at the same time, stay focused on all that they like, appreciate, and admire about each other.

Electrical sex requires you to turn your partner on and establish a deep connection and feelings of closeness to them. You also hold yourself with highest integrity to authentically be who you are, while facing the possibility of judgment and disapproval. The level of honesty and the level of vulnerability are the main factors leading toward change and growth—and that attitude and mindset also create an atmosphere that allows powerful sex.

The unconditional acceptance of your partner is a state that requires you to totally contain and embrace your partner. It creates the foundation of erotic ecstasy that brings about a high electrical charge of sexual energy.

In Taoist traditions, sexual energy is seen as life-force energy, the same current that animates every living being. When two people connect sexually with presence and awareness, their energies interact like positive and negative poles of an electrical circuit, creating a flow of vitality that can heal, awaken, and expand consciousness.

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