What Is Emotion Regulation?

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Losing composure in public has social cost that is greater for some than others.

The regulation many women bring to teams is a trained skill that is expected without recognition or credit.

Rewarding the loudest person in the room mistakes emotion dysregulation for authority.

This week, I got stuck in the middle of grounded and delayed flights at airports across the country. I jokingly texted my husband, "I swear flying right now is like: here's a tightrope, tie it between these two buildings and get across. Also, the rope is old, and we don't know where to tie one end of it yet."

We were both traveling from the same conference, at different times, into a wave of airport delays that hit thousands of travelers all over the U.S. Tensions were high—and that's exactly when you often get to see the best and worst in people, because stress reveals how leaders, at every level, guide a room through uncertainty.

On the first day of my two-day attempt to get home, a man near me lost it after a delay announcement. He shouted he was “never” flying this airline again. “No one” does their job. “Everyone” around him was an “idiot.” When the flight was ultimately canceled, he slammed his bag on the floor and started calling one person after another, repeating the same complaints, seemingly seeking help regulating himself in the only way he knew how: by shouting his anger out for someone else to catch.

Within minutes, another man appeared to catch the contagious emotion. At the counter, he shouted at the gate agent: “Do your job! Tell us what’s going on!” She quietly responded that there was........

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