Why Relationships Matter

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Couples starting therapy often say, “But we love each other,” yet love alone doesn’t carry the relationship.

Most breakups aren’t caused by one big blowup, but by slow erosion over time.

Developing some basic skills can help a relationship thrive and survive.

Many couples start sex therapy with the same sentence: “But we love each other.” I get it. The chemistry hooks you into the relationship. It’s the spark. It’s the reason you chose each other in the first place.

But here’s the part most of us don’t learn until we’re already frustrated, disconnected, or stuck in the same fight for the 100th time: Love only starts a relationship. It doesn’t sustain it. As I share with my long- and short-term couples, love will not get you through.

Long-lasting relationships aren’t built on luck or “finding your perfect person.” They’re built on skills. Learned, practical skills that help you create connection, especially when life gets busy, bodies change, stress hits, and the sexual desire fades away. Many of my long-term couples that end in divorce share that it was a long time in the making. They often use the analogy of “death by a thousand paper cuts.” It’s the small things in life that make or break the relationship.

Have you ever wondered, Why is this so hard if we love each other so much? Your relationship is not doomed, and it’s not that you’re not meant to be together. You’re just missing a few essential relationship skills.

Skill 1: Talk about emotional and physical intimacy...without it ending in a fight.

Intimacy isn’t one thing. It’s emotional closeness, physical........

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