Enmeshment, or the lack of clear boundaries in a parent-child relationship, can be particularly confusing.

Parental enmeshment prohibits a grown child from launching their life while also fostering dependence.

Becoming aware of enmeshment's power and seeing its destructiveness can be both freeing and frightening.

Have you ever felt disloyal to a parent for simply growing up or moving away? For wanting to make decisions on your own? Even for having your own life?

It’s a crazy feeling. And very confusing. Because everything on the surface looks great. It looks to others like a deep love between parent and child. While on the inside, for the “child,” it feels much more like a responsibility to be who your parent needs you to be.

The dynamic is called enmeshment. And it’s a huge problem because that loyalty to your parent—that message that you’re their “person”—means you’re not supposed to leave them. That's not always a spoken expectation. But even if you move, your duty is still to remain available.

What's the difference between empty nest and enmeshment?

Most parents want their kids to launch—to go out into the world with the skills they’ve hopefully learned at home, at school, at work—and succeed.

And some parents will need to grieve that now, their nest is empty—or emptying.

So if you're the "child," you might hear from those parents:

“What am I going to........

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