The holidays can be especially challenging for people struggling to build their families. The focus on family and traditions, changes in routine, and increased social contact can intensify feelings of loss and sadness. If this resonates with you, these tips may help you get through the holiday season with less distress.

Make decisions about whether or not you want to talk about your journey. Think about whether or not you want to tell people about your fertility treatment, who is the genetically related parent, or information about your donor.

Upsetting questions and unsolicited advice can feel terrible but it is even worse when you are caught off guard. When you are not prepared, you are more likely to say things you may regret, get angry at the person who is asking, or shift into a bad mood for the rest of the evening. Preparing won’t change other people, but it can lower your chance of being shocked, disappointed, or angry. If you plan ahead, you and your partner are more likely to react similarly to difficult inquiries, and as a couple, you may even feel empowered to stand stronger in your responses.

If you are not sure how you feel, or where you will be in your treatment during the holidays, you can say something like, “The truth is I just don’t know how I will feel when I … so I certainly don’t expect you to know.” “So why don’t we make an agreement, when I have something to share, I will tell you. Otherwise, let’s talk about other things like movies we are watching or new recipes.” This response can also let people who wonder........

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