Understanding Loneliness

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Loneliness is not about being alone; it is about disconnection.

Loneliness reshapes how we think and perceive others.

Connection is built through small, repeated interactions.

Loneliness is widespread in the United States. Fifty percent of adults report often feeling lonely; 69 percent experience social disconnection; 54 percent feel isolated; and 50 percent feel left out and without companionship (APA, 2024). The incidence of clinically meaningful loneliness has risen steadily in recent decades, a trend that predates, but was sharply accelerated by, the COVID-19 pandemic.

Loneliness is the painful perception that one's social connections are inadequate, in quality or quantity; a gap between the relationships a person has and the relationships they need or experience as meaningful (Perlman and Peplau, 1981). Loneliness is not the same thing as solitude. You can still feel profoundly alone when surrounded by people. You may have relationships and responsibilities, what others call a full life, and still carry the sense that something essential is missing. You may long for not just more friends, but for an authentic connection and a sense of being seen, heard, and valued for who you are.

We think loneliness is due to circumstances, such as having insufficient time or opportunities for friendships; it can be internalized as a personal failure or a belief that there is something intrinsically wrong with you, such as being unlikable or uninteresting. But research suggests that loneliness more often reflects an interaction between individual vulnerability and environmental conditions (Barjaková, Garnero, and d'Hombres, 2023).

While we are a profoundly social........

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