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Anxiety can carry useful information about what uncertainty threatens or means to us.

Some people tolerate uncertainty better than others, affecting how they respond to anxiety.

Understanding your anxiety can help you make better decisions, instead of simply seeking relief.

What is your relationship to uncertainty? For most of us, ambiguity serves as the basis of anxiety, which is a categorically uncomfortable feeling. How far will you go to escape the anxiety associated with not knowing?

Some of us can remain in limbo indefinitely. In contrast, others will act to exit the state of not knowing, often making bad or impulsive decisions to regain clarity and escape ambiguity.

Let's look at two different examples of managing uncertainty I have seen in my work.

Chloe is a lawyer in her early thirties and was six months into dating someone she thought would become her long-term partner when she noticed a subtle shift: he changed the cadence of his text responses and seemed distracted on dates. She began seeking reassurance from him that the relationship was “ok.” Despite his affirmations of love and support, she had difficulty with not knowing where she stood. To escape her intense anxiety, she ended the relationship, which was very painful, but offered immediate relief from the uncertainty.

Now let’s look at Lena, also in her thirties. She works for a large media company and was seeing me to better understand her relationship patterns. At her company, layoffs and restructuring happened regularly. Employees were offered an attractive layoff package, but the company offered no reassurance about........

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