Why Relationships Matter

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“Like the heads of the mythological Hydra, the crises are many now…much like chopping off the Hydra’s heads, the resulting solutions that do not address the complexity seem to generate more consequences.”—Nora BatesonComplexity is the ability to perceive multiple perspectives and contexts. Its origin is from the Latin plexus, meaning "interwoven." It creates a segue into understanding what anthropologist Gregory Bateson believed was the source of the world's major problems: the result of "the difference between how nature works and the way people think."

My sense of complexity is that it offers a kaleidoscope of mutual sharing, mixing our stories and contexts to generate an acceptance of our interdependency with each other and our world. It is the basis for sustaining what is between our relationships and for resolving conflicts.

Here is my story of growing up in Paterson, New Jersey, a densely populated red-brick factory town in a valley, surrounded by a river and a Great Falls that powered its industry. All my relatives lived within walking distance, and my parents were born by the same midwife, a block away from the house where I lived. They all went to the same public school, church, and retail stores. My grandmother, my Noni, as I called her, was my favorite. She couldn't read or write, came from the area around Naples, Italy, when she was a young woman, yet she could go anywhere and then create something and nurture it.

Her pride was her garden, which was 25 by 25 feet in her backyard. It became a mini ecological masterpiece. She allowed it to grow and helped it maintain itself, becoming a collage of apricot, peach, and fig........

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