This is the fourth in a series of posts describing how we can have more successful political conversations, in both our civic and personal lives.

When we make a sustained effort to regard our opponents with dignity and respect, when we listen to their personal stories and tell them our own, and when we make a conscious effort to see and feel about the world the way they do, we have taken several steps away from unproductive argument toward a new form of discussion. We have begun a dialogue.

Dialogue is much more than a civil and respectful exchange of ideas. Dialogue is an uncommon and qualitatively different kind of conversation. Based on extensive experience in public opinion research and facilitating intergroup relations, social scientist Daniel Yankelovich offered a model for resolving group conflicts, which he called “the magic of dialogue.”

A dialogue is not a negotiation or a problem-solving discussion (although it may lead to problem solving). In a dialogue, each person is trying to learn more about why someone feels and thinks the way........

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