Take our Positive Aging Test

Find a therapist specialized in aging concerns

Aging parents want to be known for who they are now, not only who they once were.

Early talks about health, housing, and end-of-life wishes can prevent conflict later.

Hovering and unsolicited advice can feel controlling, even when motivated by love.

Open-ended questions and patient listening help aging parents feel safe enough to open up.

One of the most powerful experiences we can have as human beings is the feeling of being understood. There is nothing quite like looking into another person's eyes and seeing that they really get us. They listen to what we have to say and truly understand how we feel—no judgment, quick fixes, or unsolicited advice.To feel seen, met, listened to, and understood is the basis for all loving relationships. And our ever-changing relationship with our aging parents is no exception.Below are some of the most common things aging parents say they want and need, and a few helpful reminders:

1. Get to know me in this new season of my life

We are all older versions of who we were years ago in our families of origin. The father or mother who once lived in the family home has entered a new season of life as well that may now include sons- and daughters-in-law, grandchildren, and changes in how we look, feel, and live.With these changes come unlimited opportunities to become better or lesser versions of ourselves. We may make the most of our family relationships or avoid taking the time and making the effort to honestly understand what is happening in one another's lives—and squander those opportunities.Whether or not they admit it, most parents want to be loved, understood, and supported as they get older. Being able to enjoy good times together, support one another in tough times, and live in peace with their adult children are, they will tell you, "a blessing."

2.........

© Psychology Today