Understanding Loneliness

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Reaching out to someone you don't know can boost your mood.

Strangers are often more receptive to conversation than we expect.

You don’t have to start a conversation—a smile or holding a door open can also create a sense of connection.

It seems counterintuitive that someone you’ve never met can make you happy. But they can. Human beings evolved to seek connection as a basic means of survival in a hostile world. Things haven’t changed much since. In an ideal world, we’d quench our hunger for contact with a buffet of loving family members, friends, fringe-ships. But most of us don’t live in an ideal world. And loneliness is rampant.

On any given day, if you leave your house, you are likely to encounter a stranger. You know the cliché: A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met. Yeah, well, that’s just a cliché. Sure, you might make a new friend if you meet new people. But let’s not go overboard; a stranger is often just a stranger. But reaching out to “just a stranger” can boost your psychological well-being.

People who make small talk (e.g., “Nice weather”) with others in line or greet the barista report feeling more like they belong in that setting. Simply thanking someone, opening the door for the next person, and making eye contact can boost your mood.

Strangers can be surprisingly good sources of information. Try asking the checkout clerk at Trader Joe’s what they think about the frozen Thai dish—and you might get a tip that adding frozen spinach makes for a complete meal. Likewise, when people are experiencing distressing life circumstances such as a serious illness or a death in the family, a stranger with a similar experience might provide the most effective support. Friends and family are often too close to the problem,........

© Psychology Today