The Importance of Forgiveness

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Holding onto guilt can be harmful, both mentally and physically.

When we apologize for our mistakes, we drastically reduce our guilt.

Practice makes perfect! You can learn to get better at saying sorry.

You’ve just said something insensitive and hurtful to someone you care about. They are angry, and you feel terrible. You know you should say sorry, but you also worry that admitting you made a mistake could make you look weak. You remain silent, choosing your pride over the relationship.

It’s easy to imagine ourselves in this situation. Making a genuine, sincere apology is hard. Admitting to having acted badly comes with risks: that the apology won’t be accepted, that they might think worse of us, that other people will judge us. But research shows that while apologizing can be difficult, not apologizing can be even harder. Keeping our guilt to ourselves can take a heavy toll on us, both mentally and physically.

Psychological Effects of Unaddressed Guilt

The psychological costs of carrying unaddressed guilt can lead to what's known as "moral distress" - feelings of anxiety, sadness, and even depression (VanderWeele et al., 2025). It’s what we feel when our actions don’t align with our core beliefs. You likely view yourself as a good, empathetic person, but the fact that you just hurt someone creates cognitive dissonance: only “bad” people hurt others, right?

This isn’t true, of course - we all make mistakes - but since we naturally tend to tie our self-worth to being “good,” admitting........

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