Becoming Dada: What Draws a Father In
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New fathers show stronger reward-circuit responses to infant cues.
Fathers' oxytocin varies with how they interact with their infants.
Fathers' brains respond more strongly to their own infant than to an unfamiliar one.
This post is Part 1 in a two-part series.
When my toddler son feels overwhelmed or upset, he almost always comes to me and says, “Tell me a story.”
I pick him up, settle him on my lap, and begin the way I always do: “Once upon a time, there was a smart, kind, happy little boy…” He may still be crying when I start, but by the time I reach “kind and happy,” he is catching his breath and staring up at me. The story that follows usually involves some of his favorite things to do: swimming, playing on the playground, or going on walks, and almost always animals. On the way to the swimming spot, a dog, a duck, and a pig might join in and help him into the water. Two or three minutes into our story, he has calmed down enough to go about his business.
This past year, I discovered a talent I never knew I had. Apparently, I am really good at improvised storytelling. I knew that fatherhood would bring me joy. What I did not expect was how much I would come to enjoy these moments. I have caught myself yearning for them. There is something deeply moving about being trusted with helping him settle.
Of course, storytime is only one of the many things we share. We go on walks and read together, and he absolutely loves being tossed into the air. The storytelling is simply one of the moments that stays with me.
All this has made me wonder what fatherhood has done to my own brain.
As a behavioral neuroendocrinologist, I study the relationship between hormones, the brain, and behavior. Leading up to his birth, I read extensively about changes that accompany pregnancy and motherhood, and there was plenty to learn, including significant shifts in hormones and in brain structure and function that extend well into the transition to motherhood [1]. It never occurred to me, though, to read about the changes I would go through myself as a father. Professional expertise, it turns out, does not prevent personal blind spots.
So, I started reading........
