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Praise, encouragement, celebration, and gratitude are different ways to communicate verbal affirmation.

Compared to praise, gratitude is more intimate, more vulnerable, and more humble.

Praise says: You did something good. Gratitude says: You did something good for me.

Imagine this: You’ve just attended a talk by a co-worker at your organization. Her presentation blows you away. In fact, it’s a game-changer for you—her talk ignites a paradigm shift in the way you think. You’re inspired. Afterward, you walk up to her and say, “Good job! That was an amazing presentation.”

You’ve just praised her. And that’s fine—praise is positive. But you’ve also missed an opportunity to say something even more meaningful. Humans don’t just want to feel competent—we want to feel that we matter. We want to know that our work, words, or effort made a difference to someone.

So instead of “good job,” try this:

“I learned so much from you.”

“You changed the way I think.”

Now you’ve done something powerful—you’ve communicated that she added value to your life. You’re saying, you matter to me. In essence, you’ve just expressed gratitude—even without saying “Thank you.” Because here’s the difference: Praise expresses your role as an evaluator. Gratitude signals that you’re a learner.

The Four Affirmations: Praise, Encourage, Celebrate, Thank

I want to introduce you to a family of language-based affirmations that uplift, connect, and empower. I call them PECT: praise, encourage, celebrate, and thank. Each one communicates appreciation differently—and when used thoughtfully, they transform everyday interactions into meaningful exchanges.

Of course, you can express any of these four affirmations without words, too. But for this piece, I’m focusing on the verbal kind—the things we say or write to others.

Praise communicates a positive evaluation of another person’s performance (Good job!) or attributes (You’re so talented!).

In American society, praise is so common it’s practically a reflex. We use it as a form of greeting, like saying “Hello.” It keeps things pleasant but often lacks depth. Praise also functions as a reinforcer—we use it to increase desirable behavior.

But praise is most useful when it serves an informational function. Praise, when appropriately expressed, communicates meaning, telling a person what is valued and why they were successful. For instance, you could draw attention to a person’s skill or strategy that helps them succeed.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s theory on the growth mindset—and the type of praise that fosters this mindset—is now widely known among American educators. Drawing on Dweck’s research showing that process praise (“You worked hard on this!”) is better at motivating kids than person praise (“You’re so smart!”), some educators misapply her theory by blindly praising kids for their hard work, even when they fail.

But sometimes, failure isn’t due to a lack of hard work but perhaps a poor strategy that needs to change. So simply praising someone for their hard work can be disingenuous—or even worse, reinforce a strategy that isn’t working.

The takeaway? When using praise, think about the type of information we’re communicating and whether it’s actually meaningful to the recipient.

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Instead of saying “Great talk!”, try: “The stories you shared really brought your ideas to life.” That’s meaningful praise—it tells the person what you valued and what specifically contributed to their success.

Encouragement and praise are sometimes used interchangeably, but encouragement has a stronger focus on enhancing another person’s motivation—whether that’s instilling hope, inspiration, confidence, perseverance, or courage.

Encouragement is often used as a form of social support for people who are struggling—a positive message to boost their spirits when they’re feeling down.

But encouragement can also focus on realizing potential—even when there isn’t an existing problem. This type of encouragement is future-oriented. You’re helping someone imagine a bigger version of themselves—sometimes before they can see it.

Here’s an example: “Have you thought of pursuing a Ph.D.? You have a great grasp of research, and I know you’d be successful.”

In fact, encouragement stands out from the other three affirmations as the only one with a future orientation. After all, it’s odd to praise, thank, or celebrate someone for their future actions—but we can certainly encourage them to pursue future opportunities.

This type of encouragement can be incredibly powerful. You’re broadening and building someone’s dreams. Many people would never have pursued an opportunity—or even imagined it—without the encouragement of someone who believed in them. You can be that person.

Celebration recognizes and honors others’ achievements or milestones. It includes a reactive component—responding positively when someone shares good news (“I’m so happy you won that award!”)—and a proactive component, when we take the initiative to honor someone’s milestone (like a birthday or promotion) through rituals, ceremonies, or public acknowledgment.

Celebration communicates to others that we value them—that we didn’t forget their birthday or that we think their promotion is a big deal.

How you celebrate someone may be just as important as what you say. Research shows that responding with genuine enthusiasm and curiosity (for example, by asking questions) when someone shares good news not only boosts their mood but also strengthens your relationship with them.

Actionable Gratitude (Thank)

Gratitude can be a feeling—but it can also be an action. I call this actionable gratitude: expressing your thanks directly to your benefactor.

Praise and gratitude both acknowledge someone, but they differ in tone and depth.

Praise says: You did something good.

Gratitude says: You did something good for me.

Gratitude is more intimate, more vulnerable, more humble. It acknowledges that someone has made a positive difference in your life—and that you’re, in some way, indebted.

If you find yourself defaulting to praise instead of thanks, ask yourself:

Am I hiding behind the safety of evaluation?

Does admitting I learned something from someone feel uncomfortable?

Because gratitude isn’t just polite—it’s connective. It says, You changed me.

And according to research by my former student Alexis Pandelios, gratitude feels most sincere when it’s specific. Don’t just say, “Thank you!” Tell the person what they did and how it helped you. “Thank you for taking the time to review my draft. Your feedback helped me clarify my argument—and I learned so much from it.” That’s being specific. That’s actionable gratitude in motion.

Putting It All Together

So there you have it: Praise. Encourage. Celebrate. Thank. Each one speaks a slightly different dialect of affirmation.

Someone’s performing well but doesn’t know why—use praise to show them.

Someone’s got untapped potential—encourage them.

Someone feels unseen—celebrate them.

Someone’s made a difference in your life—thank them.

Give someone a PECT today. Watch how it changes them—and how it changes you.

Peters, B. J., Reis, H. T., & Gable, S. L. (2018). Making the good even better: A review and theoretical model of interpersonal capitalization. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 12(7), Article e12407. https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12407

Wong, Y. J. (2015). The Psychology of Encouragement: Theory, Research, and Applications: Theory, Research, and Applications, The Counseling Psychologist, 43(2), 178–216. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000014545091

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