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Strategies that protect us from painful separations can later limit opportunities for closeness.

Attachment avoidance can involve downplaying connection and prioritizing self-sufficiency.

Recognizing relationships that already matter can create opportunities to reconsider emotional distance.

Hallmark’s "Adopting St. Nick" features a single mother, Maren, and her adopted daughter, Leah, who “adopt” a senior resident for the holidays through a retirement community’s Christmas Companions program. Leah suspects that their companion, Kris, may be Santa. Spoiler alert—he is Santa. As I watched, however, my focus turned primarily to Reid, one of the retirement community directors. The ways in which he arranged his life so that he could quickly leave one community for the next made an impression.

Reid can pack his belongings in a day. His job takes him from one location to another, establishing retirement facilities before moving on to the next assignment. He has become comfortable with a life in which leaving is expected until he begins to realize that this departure this time might feel different.

When Friendship Means Having to Say Goodbye

Reid explains that his father was in the military, so his family moved frequently during his childhood. He rarely stayed anywhere long enough to make friends. When he finally did develop friendships, another move meant leaving them behind. His conclusion was understandable: It was easier to avoid making friends than to experience the pain of losing their everyday presence.

A child usually has little say in whether a family moves. Reid could not control where he lived or how long he stayed. Keeping his distance offered one way to make the next goodbye less painful and gave him an opportunity to control what he could. That strategy appears to have followed him into adulthood. His circumstances have changed, but his readiness to leave remains. He demonstrates how........

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