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Much meaning can be conveyed through unconscious communication.

Seemingly frivolous, superficial topics often carry deeper meaning.

There are good reasons not to dismiss appearances as meaningless.

There’s a scene in the 1996 film Trainspotting, based on the Irvine Welsh novel, and recently resurrected in London’s West End, where the boys ask the girls what they’re talking about, and the girls say, “Shopping!” Their throwaway response is shorthand for “frivolous girly things.” I enjoy conversations, with female friends and Gen Z clients alike, about “frivolous girly things”, except, in therapy, as in Trainspotting, we’re often talking about something deeper as well.

In my early career I had an 18-year-old client called Polly*. She was attractive and always immaculately made-up and fashionably dressed, with fantastic hair. She loved shopping for clothes and would often tell me about her latest buys. Most weeks, Polly........

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