Five years ago, my husband of 10 years died unexpectedly. My children and I have continued to spend the holidays and other milestones with his parents, but after my mother-in-law passed away last year, my father-in-law is now completely alone. My new fiancé feels we should no longer include my former father-in-law in our holiday plans, nor invite him to the children’s milestones, like birthdays or Father’s Day. I understand his perspective, but this man has been part of my family for years and has no one else, especially at his age. I'm not sure how to approach this.

Losing a spouse unexpectedly reshapes your entire life. It changes your family, your routines, your identity, and the circle of people you lean on. You didn't just lose a husband—you also folded yourself into his family's grief and stood beside them through their darkest moments. Those ties don't simply disappear because life moves forward. Knowing that firsthand, I want to acknowledge the very human dilemma you are facing. You’re balancing loyalty to someone who has been family for a long time with the commitment you are now making to a new partner. These are not simple emotional shifts. They require courage, clarity, empathy, and a whole lot of heart.

Your fiancé must remember that your former father-in-law is more than just a relative from your past; he is your children's grandfather. And after........

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