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Deeper needs like love and belonging require other people, which makes them feel risky and out of our control.

A protective part may steer attention away before a need surfaces with ease.

Parts work helps: It’s easier to accept that part of us has a need than that the whole of us does.

If you’re anything like me, you read the title of a post like that and instantly go — that’s not me. I know what I need. When I’m hungry, I go for a snack. I can assess whether I want something salty or sweet, see if we have anything in the fridge that satisfies my craving, and if not, order something on an app that will be at my door in 30 minutes or less. Check. Gold star! I win at meeting my needs.

But that’s not the kind of need that I want to bring into the mix today. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, those are pretty close to the bottom of the pyramid. Physiological needs, safety, and security are important, but what about something deeper, like love or belonging? I want you to think back to a moment when you felt alone. Maybe you read the news and felt a sense of dread. Maybe you had a tough conversation with a family member. Maybe things just felt really heavy, and you couldn’t find hope to hold on to. What did you need in that moment?

Why is needing other people so hard?

I say this........

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