Asking “What should I do?” creates pressure but rarely leads to action.

Motivation to act comes from wanting to do something, not from external rules.

Acting on what you care about rather than out of obligation leads to more lasting change.

When people hear that I’m an ethicist, they often present me with a scenario and ask, “What should I do?” This is a mistake for two reasons. First, you don’t want me – or anyone else – to make decisions for you. Second, you don’t actually want to be told what to do – even by yourself. What you really want is to be motivated to act based on what you truly care about.

Thinking About Ethics Differently

We tend to think that ethics, like law or medicine, can provide correct answers to difficult questions. An ethicist is, therefore, an expert who can come in, assess the situation, and tell us what is right or wrong, or good or bad.

This makes sense when you think about the ways we typically use specialists. Lawyers know the law and doctors know medicine. They ask our input, but we need their guidance on what we should do. Yet, if an ethicist walks into a room and says, “I know what you should do. Just listen to me,” most of us would immediately resist.

Unlike medicine or law, ethics is personal. It’s how we relate to each other and the world around us. By delegating our decision-making to someone else, we give away our autonomy and agency as........

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