Being reliable often leads to growing expectations from others and ourselves.

Outsourcing tasks doesn't necessarily reduce the mental load of managing them.

Stepping back can bring guilt and grief when being needed has become part of one's identity.

Lately, I’ve been hearing some version of the same question from women in midlife: “I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. Is this it?”

Many are navigating perimenopause, changing bodies and identities, and beginning to challenge inherited beliefs. At work, they’re often the “go-to” person who finishes projects. At home, they’re doing the “second shift” of kin-keeping, scheduling appointments, and keeping the family connected. They once believed professional success and increased income would lead to more freedom.

Ironically, the more reliable their reputation, the more they’re expected to handle everything. They often hear, “But you’re just so good at it!”

According to Gallup’s 2026 report, 34 percent of women working full-time were engaged at work, compared with 28 percent of men. Yet 31 percent of women reported frequent workplace burnout, compared with 23 percent of men. This gap was true for women with and without children.

And then there’s perimenopause, about which researchers are only beginning to learn how varied and diverse the symptoms are. A 2025 study following 679 women found that increases in menopause symptoms over six months were associated with increases in burnout.

Add on the return-to-office mandates, job insecurity, and rising costs, and it makes it harder to scale back or imagine doing things differently. A September 2026 CDC report found that 71.5 percent of U.S. adults felt very tired or exhausted at least some days during the previous three months, with women........

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