I was always a people-pleaser. If someone around me was upset, I would get anxious. I was so concerned about outside approval that I would set aside my own needs and desires. I found it almost impossible to say no when asked to do things.

When my oldest was born, I was still very much a people-pleaser but it became harder and harder to fill that role. I finally started to re-evaluate my priorities when I was asked to go on a work trip several months after my first was born. The trip was not necessary, but I knew my superior wanted me to go to showcase her work. Deep down, I knew that I wasn't ready to be away from my daughter for a week—but I also knew that traveling and working with a six-month-old was going to be difficult.

Still, I didn’t have it in me at the time to say no. So I brought my six-month-old and attended the conference. I was fortunate to have a family that could watch her during the day while I attended symposia—but there was no easy place to pump, and she was having trouble with bottle feeding.

The trip ended with me developing severe mastitis that sent me to the hospital—and for her, an ear infection. It was then that I realized that to be the present mother I wanted to be, I was going to have to leave the........

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