“The only constant in life is change” (Heraclitus, circa 500 BCE). As winter break comes to an end, this truth feels especially close to home. I feel like just yesterday, I was helping my children adjust to a new school year, and now we are once again preparing to transition to different routines, expectations, and social worlds. I can already anticipate some big feelings; even if it’s returning to a familiar place, it can still be unsettling.

Children experience constant transitions throughout their lives. Some are small, like moving from one activity to another; others are deeply emotional, like separating at bedtime. Why are transitions so hard for our young children? How can we support children when change feels overwhelming?

What makes transitions difficult may not be the change itself, but rather the uncertainty that comes with it. When routines shift, children may feel uncertain about what is expected of them, how they will feel, and whether they can trust others to help them manage what comes next. Children as young as five express worry about starting school because of uncertain teacher demands and dynamics with peers (Wong, 2015). For us parents, school might bring the relief of structure and routine, but for our children, it may bring a flood of emotions. How can we possibly provide a steady hand for our children in moments when our own hearts feel shaky? Ironically, the best antidote to challenging transitions is stability, particularly emotional and relational stability. Children need to know that the adults who care for them remain present, predictable, and emotionally available.

Remember that our job as parents is not to remove all possible challenges or stressors from our children’s lives. Not only is that simply impossible, but moderate stress (what the Harvard Center on the Developing Child terms positive stress) is actually a normal and necessary part of development (Toxic Stress Resource Guide, n.d.). When supported by caring adults, this type of stress helps children build

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