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Each person has a natural "frequency"—a communication style shaped by how they connect with others.

There are seven styles: motivator, challenger, commander, healer, professor, seer, maven.

Knowing someone's frequency can help you understand and connect with them better.

Have you ever shared something important with your partner and felt dismissed? They give you a two-sentence answer to something you have been sitting with for a week? It's easy to assume the relationship is the problem, or that the other person is toxic. Often neither is true. You may just have different communication "frequencies." And once you find out what your communication frequency is (and theirs), you'll be able to take your relationship to the next level. Where once there was miscommunication, there will be greater understanding. You may even become a master communicator.

You've probably heard of the five love languages. Well, it turns out there are 7 communication styles. That's the premise of Erwin Raphael McManus's book The Seven Frequencies of Communication. As a psychologist who teaches emotional intelligence to executives at a business school and has written several books on the subject, I wasn't sure if I'd learn anything new in his book. But I found his reframes really interesting.

It’s fairly obvious that we all have different communication styles. McManus calls these "frequencies" that we send and instinctively listen for in others. McManus's argument is simple: We each have a natural communication frequency, and most relationship friction isn't about love or effort; it's about a mismatch between frequencies. When your frequencies line up, communication feels effortless, and you can start to understand each other's language.

Which of the 7 Frequencies Is Yours?

Read through these slowly. Most people find themselves in two or three, not just one. The point isn't to file yourself under a label; it's to notice which one(s) feel most familiar.

The motivators uplift. They walk into a room and start........

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