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Phone use is often a point of contention in families.

Parents frequently use age rather than maturity as the top consideration in getting that first phone.

Phone removal is overused as a punishment for teens and tweens.

In our current world, the question isn’t whether a child will get a cell phone. It is instead when to get one and how to support the healthy use of such a powerful device. Despite the prevalence of cell phones in the lives of families, we have yet to hear a caregiver say, “My children aren’t on their screens enough.” This edited excerpt from our book, Working with Parents in Child Psychotherapy, is focused on helping parents guide their children in cell phone use.

In the early days of our psychology careers, before the advent of smartphones, parents used to ask us if they should put a television in their child’s room. Our answer was typically no, because having their own TV would interfere with the child’s sleep and be more isolating than watching a show in a common family area. Now nearly every child, by virtue of having a phone, tablet, or laptop, can have a TV in their room, and caregivers don’t even ask this question anymore!

In thinking about how to adopt healthy phone practices, we suggest considering carefully some of the common issues that arise:

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