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Has Gentle Parenting Gone Too Far?

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13.07.2026

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Gentle Parenting is a philosophy that is very hard on parents.

Children need limits and rules and parents who enforce them.

In France, Gentle Parenting is very controversial.

Parenting is an exhausting adventure under any circumstances. Most parents have to work and keep up with childcare. But on top of this, there is also Gentle Parenting, and its close cousin, Positive Parenting*. Both of these child-rearing philosophies demand that a parent provide empathy at all times for a child's feelings, put those feelings into words, and negotiate with the child regarding whether or not the child will do something a parent asks. And, if you ask me, this is an unrealistic expectation that requires too much of parents.

Both Gentle Parenting and Positive Parenting are outgrowths of something that started in the 1950's when Benjamin Spock wrote his first book, The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care. Spock revolutionized parenting practices by urging mothers and fathers to trust their instincts and reject rigid, authoritarian rules.

Prior to Spock, parenting tended to be authoritarian and top-down, with parents establishing rules and children being expected to follow them. Harsh punishment for infractions was common. My own mother, for example, born in 1912, had to sit in front of her meal until she ate it all. This sometimes lasted hours, and she was not allowed to get up from the table until she had done what was required.

Since my mother's time, expectations of children have done a 180. Child-centered, or child-led parenting, has evolved, and here we are, immersed in Gentle Parenting. Children can do........

© Psychology Today