What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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For survivors of sibling abuse, healing begins by redefining anger and conflict.

Survivors may face difficult choices about confronting family members and maintaining relationships.

It is possible to unlearn old habits, create healthier patterns, and prioritize safety and well-being.

This post was co-authored with Amy Meyers, Ph.D., LCSW

You can find help that will help move you forward and find healthy relationships, even if this one never will be. Once you know this was abusive behavior, trauma therapy is out there in a variety of forms, and you can learn about your true self, your values, and create a plan for a better life that speaks to you inside. —Testimonial submitted to the SAARA Story Archive

Adults who have survived childhood and/or adolescent experiences of sibling abuse may continue to struggle with the long-term emotional outcomes. The impacts of sibling abuse occur both as it is happening and well into adulthood. Adult survivors often face challenges in managing anger and conflict, navigating sibling and family relationships, and finding healing and a path forward.

Managing Anger and Conflict

For many people, anger is a complicated emotion. It may surface quickly, feel too strong for the current situation, or, alternatively, feel entirely unavailable. As children, survivors of sibling abuse likely lacked safe opportunities to express anger, particularly when family members and society minimized the harm. This minimization invalidates survivors' experiences and feelings. Survivors may also have learned that raising their voices or having intense emotions leads to retaliation.

As adults, survivors may find others’ anger, as well as their own, frightening, shameful, or out of control. Yet anger is a healthy emotion and a necessary part of relationships. Expressing dissatisfaction does not have to be negative or destructive. The problem is not the anger........

© Psychology Today