I recently attended my son's school parents' evening. Having attended his parents' evenings for the last 10 years, I knew what to expect. I'd hear about how well he did in class—how he was focused, worked hard, and was polite and pleasant to be around. I'd also hear about how the teachers wished he would speak up more, how he struggled in groups, and how he only had one or two friends at a time.

If I'm talking to one of the teachers I feel connected with—instead of the ones who use my son's quietness as a form of criticism—I mention that he's an entirely different boy at home. He's one of the noisiest people I've ever met—always singing a snippet of a song, repeating a funny joke, or jumping about in some way. Far from being quiet, he can talk at great length when he's interested in something. His teachers are usually shocked when I describe the contrast between his "home self" and his "school self."

Like many autistic people, my son relies heavily on camouflaging. While we all have different versions of ourselves that we choose to present or hide in different social situations—and many children will act differently in the school and home environment—camouflaging involves monitoring everything you do and say, to the point that you present as entirely different in different contexts.

Camouflaging is driven by the knowledge that if you turn up and be yourself, you are more at risk of being singled out as "weird" or subjected to bullying. Because autistic people are often called names or bullied, they tend to adapt their behaviour to avoid a repeat event.

Struggling with small talk and fluid conversation, experiencing issues with non-verbal cues, talking at length about intense interests, unintentionally offending others, not wishing to talk at all, or becoming confused in group conversations—these are just a few of the various ways that autistic people can be concerned about "getting it wrong." Camouflaging can also include attempts to suppress........

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