When I first moved to Los Angeles, I worked for a national LGBTQ organization, and one of my primary responsibilities was to help organize new member recruitment events.

The events always took place at bars across the United States and were a way to attract new members.

Once, when I secured a venue for a new market at a non-bar, I was called to meet with the president of the organization at the time.

He told me I’d have to find a new venue at a bar.

Even though the location was perfect for our event, and they were going to give us a great deal, we couldn’t have our event somewhere that wasn’t a “gay bar.”

He told me, “The bar is for gays what the church is for straights.”

At first glance, the comment sounds problematic. But if we were to explore the history between the LGBTQ community and the church, his comment was a fair assessment.

For years, certain religions have failed to accept LGBTQ people. And, for that reason, the LGBTQ community has had to create alternative spaces to gather, connect, celebrate, and, essentially, worship.

After nine years of sobriety and 11 years working at a popular gay bar in Los Angeles, what I share with others from my experience is that what people do at a bar and what they do at church is ultimately the same: the pursuit of a connection with something beyond the realm of this world. It’s just that one source is sustainable and one isn’t.

It’s not that bars themselves are bad; it’s that everything, including bars and........

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