If you are married or in a long-term committed relationship, “How committed are you?” may sound like an odd question. Of course you're committed: You said "I do," signed a mortgage, maybe even made tiny humans together. As a couples therapist who's worked with thousands of couples, I've witnessed something heartbreaking. Here's the uncomfortable truth - True commitment is much rarer than we think, and it's not what you believe it is.

We believe that getting married makes us committed. We believe buying a house together makes us committed. We believe having children makes us "more committed than ever—now we're a family!" But the divorce statistics—and our own life experiences watching friends and family—tell a very different story.

Here's the reality: Being legally married or cohabiting is far from a guarantee that we'll stay together "till death do us part." Too often, we stay together until we are miserable, and then all too often we break up.

The problem with some commitments is that they can be as flimsy as the piece of paper they are written on. It can be as fragile as those wedding photos from that special day when you pledged to love each other forever. Thinking you are committed because of some feelings and decisions........

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