Why Relationships Matter

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“I love them, but I’m not in love with them anymore” is often a symptom—not the whole problem.

Great relationships are created. They’re not an accident.

The thrill isn’t necessarily dead. It may just be slumbering.

There are three fatal relationship mistakes I see again and again in long-term couples. And before you think I’m pointing fingers, relax. I have a husband, and I make some of these mistakes too. The point is not to be perfect, but to take an honest look at your behavior in your relationship, notice what isn’t working, and then actually do something about it.

Great relationships are created, they are not an accident. I teach a model I call the three keys to passion, or the three areas that great couples cultivate. I call these intimacy, thrill, and sensuality. Relationship passion, connection, and happiness do not simply continue because you once fell in love or had fabulous chemistry. Long-term love requires attention, intention, and effort. When couples repeatedly neglect these three keys to passion, they make what I call the three fatal relationship mistakes: the relationship can slowly lose its warmth, excitement, and erotic connection. I speak more about this more in the video below.

Fatal Mistake #1: Lousy Conflict Resolution

The first fatal mistake is ugly fighting. Do you have any of the following bad habits? Criticizing, blaming, or refusing to take any responsibility for the problem? Or maybe you never apologize, or you run away from conflict or shut down the minute things get uncomfortable. Overall, most of us are not nearly as good at conflict as we think we are,........

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