You've likely heard of Banksy, the anonymous England-based street artist known for painting murals and other types of outside wall art that can pop up in unexpected places. His name has now been appropriated by social media to refer to the practice of secretly planning to break up with a partner way in advance and then progressively detaching from the relationship over the course of weeks or even months until the breakup is finally implemented. The person doing the "Banksying" has plenty of time to adjust to the breakup but leaves the partner in the dark until the deed is finally done.

Banksying is not about losing interest in a relationship and naturally investing less and less effort over time. It's not even a "should I stay or should I go" situation in which you are unclear about what to do. No, when you do the Banksying thing, you are very clear about wanting to end the relationship. You're just not clear at all with your partner about your intent.

It involves planning and executing a deliberate and slow withdrawal from the relationship in a manner that doesn't alert your partner. When it finally happens, the breakup could even end up completely blindsiding your significant other.

It's analogous to flying a plane with someone and then deciding that you want to abandon the airplane in the near future. But instead of telling your copilot, "Hey, I am going to bail on you," you quietly hoard all the parachutes, plan precisely when and where you'll jump out, perhaps even arrange another airplane for yourself in your jump to........

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