A new man I’m dating has taken me to Cabo San Lucas. On our first evening, we slip into his hot tub and look at the endless, black sky with its countless stars. The next morning, we walk to the beach. The tropical sun is high and hot, and as we walk along the surf, we take huge gulps from our water bottles. Later, when we drag ourselves back, I remark, “We drank all that water and I don’t even have to pee!"

"It's insensible losses," he says. "Moisture has evaporated from your body through your breath and sweat. Without you realizing it, you’ve become dehydrated." He’s a surgeon. He knows these things.

Insensible losses in medicine refer to lost bodily fluid that is not easily measured, from breathing or sweating. I think for a long time about how you can lose something essential to you and not realize it until it's gone.

Some couples I’ve treated say their love slipped away without them realizing it until an incident triggered awareness, and one said to the other, "I don't love you anymore. I don't even like you.”........

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