The attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump could serve as a wake-up call to a divided nation that brings us together—or it could pull us further apart. The polarization of the last few years is not unique. It can occur in families, in groups, and in politics. The past shows us that polarization is always getting worse or better, but it doesn’t stand still. It can lead to violence or it can be reduced and managed, as it often has been throughout history. The following is an excerpt from my book Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them—How to Stop Them, explaining how we can all make it worse or better:

Few people recognize that the same process of polarization now occurs regularly around the world, at three different levels: in families, in groups, and in politics. Polarization in all of these settings is mostly an emotional process, more than a logical or ideological one. Human logical disagreements will always exist. They are simply problems to solve. They help us consider more than one option or approach, which helps us learn over time what works best. In equal relationships, we have many ways of negotiating solutions to our differences, large and small, such as taking turns, seeking more information, compromising, or trying out both options.

Polarization is personal. Intense polarization—the frightening kind that can turn into violence—is more than a difference of logical opinions. It’s a form of primitive emotional power. It causes people to say that you, your........

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