In today’s world, there are a lot of people who like to intensely criticize others while rarely taking responsibility for their own behavior. They often have traits of Cluster B (narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic) personality disorders, which tend to be “dramatic, emotional, or erratic”1 and have strong associations with “domineeringness, vindictiveness, and intrusiveness.”2 If you have to deal with such a person, either occasionally or every day, there is a simple way to minimize the impact of their negative words on you. This is a good technique to use when you are setting limits on someone and expect them to push back with criticisms of you, as we describe in our book SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2½ Steps.3

First, come up with one (or two) short statement(s) affirming one or more of your positive qualities. Write it down to help you remember it. In our High Conflict Institute trainings, we call this an “encouraging statement” and help people practice it as described below. The idea is that you can give yourself such a statement anywhere, at any time. You want it to be simple and short, so you can remember it when........

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