I know from my own twin experiences sharing clothes with my sister that having and wearing different clothes was a big, big deal. Growing up, there was anguish when she and I did not have and wear exactly the same outfits. We dressed alike until we went to middle school, which kept the clothing identity problem in control because there was no need to fight about who looked best. Once, my mother had to buy us Mary Jane party shoes to go to a Bar Mitzvah. The shoes were ever so slightly different because the buckles were not the same. Mother carefully talked us through the issue of who got the best pair and how their being different would not be noticed. We were 9 years old at the time, but I can still remember the whole event as if it happened this afternoon. (My sister and I eventually overcame this problem of wearing clothes that were not exactly the same.)

What was worse was when clothes fit differently on us, and we looked different. Who was fatter and looked chubby, and who was exactly the right size? And it was always better to not be seen as the fat twin. I know because I was always the fatter twin by a few pounds. And I wish I could say we got over this problem. But oh no! Whenever my sister saw me in later life she had to look painfully thin, which made her feel better about herself and better than me. And her need to be so thin made me feel that she was ill and that I should try to help her. I have spoken with many adult twins who have the same concerns when their twin looks as if they are starving themselves. Eating disorders are common for both male and female twins.

“The thin twin is the better twin” is a disturbing story that I hear about........

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